Kahwin, kawan-kawan, jalan-jalan

The last 9 days of 2007...

1. The Wedding

We got a call a few days before Eidul Adha, from an acquaintance who shared similar name with hubby. Brother Amin, a Jordanian married Naoko-san, a Nihonjin through civil ceremony in October 2007. Naoko-chan had not formally converted to Islam yet at that time, and Brother Amin told her that until she become a Muslimah and they go through a proper Islamic nikah, they could not live together or have normal life as married couple. Nao-chan agreed .

Brother Amin tried getting some help from the people at his Embassy, but they advised him to return and bring Nao-chan with him to Jordan for the formal conversion and Islamic marriage, since no such arrangement could be done at the Embassy. Since Brother Amin knew that they could not afford to go back to Jordan, he started looking for other alternatives.

It was then when he remembered that he actually knew a non Arab Imam who could speak Arabic, so he called us. Understandably, he was very excited upon learning that we could help him with both conversion to Muslim and Islamic nikah. "Thank you brother, thank you sister. I didn't want to bother you, but Allah had answered my prayer by guiding me to contact you..."

After he received the list of necessary documents/preparation needed, he called us again, to make appointment to see us on Saturday, 22 December 2007, for both conversion and nikah ceremony. Hubby quickly agreed, since it also happened that the Nihonjin kids he usually teach on Saturday had earlier asked for leave that day. We asked if he could bring two Muslim guys to act as witnesses for the wedding ceremony, but he could not, so hubby promised to help him on that matter.

Thus, when we were at the Embassy for Eidul Adha celebration, hubby asked around, to get some volunteers to act as witnesses for the coming wedding in Asakusa.

Saturday saw me preparing the 2 kg of qurban beef hubby collected from the Islamic Center in Setagaya the previous day. I was not sure what to cook at first, but somehow I ended up making Nasi Minyak, with Khuzi Daging Lembu and Acar Timun/Carrot. For dessert, I just peeled some mandarin oranges, diced some apples, sliced some kiwi and mixed them all with sugar and yoghurt, ala Pakistani style dessert minus the masala/chilli powder. (I still have trouble understanding why our Pakistani brothers always finish preparing the yoghurt-and-fruit dessert by adding a dash of masala/chilli powder...)

So, alhamdulillah, Basharan, Hadyan, Lutfy and Shahreeza came to help out with Nao-chan's conversion and Brother Amin-Nao-chan's wedding. Since there were four of them, two acted as witnesses for the conversion while the other two for the wedding.

Funny moments include - our surprise to see photos of various poses cut into passport size instead of the official passport-sized photos we needed to stamp on the respective certificates; how one of the witnesses excitedly posed for a photo with a wedding certificate; and how the same witness admitted to feeling rather nervous just before the wedding ceremony, although the groom himself had no such trouble whatsoever. Oh, by the by, the same witness is darn good in imitating the groom explaining stuff to his wife about Islam using Level 1 Nihonggo - "kore wa dame... kore wa daijoubu... kore wa Allah ga suki..." Although hubby had asked those who are fluent in Nihonggo to explain this and that during the conversion ceremony, Brother Amin took it upon himself to do it, using simple Nihonggo - which even to my not-so-jouzu ears sounded not quite right, yet the main points were there. So while Brother Amin acted as interpreter for the Imam; the rest of us glanced at each other, thinking similar thoughts, "Ok... that's right, but, but...". Thus, the nervous witness sometimes helped in interpreting hubby's word to Nihonggo, when words seemed to fail the enthusiastic husband.

After some deliberation, Nao-chan chose Sara to be her Muslim name. Brother Amin was obviously interested in naming her Nur, " you will become Nur Amin, the light of me", he grinned as he persuaded her. I told her it would be okay for her to use Nur Sara as her Muslim name, but Brother Amin asked her to choose one or the other. Sarah is what her mother-in-law wishes to call her, and since Sarah/Sara is a common universal name, Nao-chan finally chose Sara.

There was a break between the ceremony and getting the official certificates ready since the newlywed needed to get some official passport-sized photos first. The witnesses were invited to our home for late lunch/2nd round lunch (two guys arrived earlier and had already lunched at our place). Must be the berkat of qurban, the khuzi was a big hit that day. I received plenty of compliments such as "lembutnya daging ni" (it was on slow heat for ages, plus the beef was rather fresh), "akak masak macam mana ni, sedap betul," (my guess is khuzi is not something most single guys would cook. curry maybe, even kurma, but I have yet to see khuzi instant seasoning by Adabi) etc. I smiled as the boys kept adding the rice and beef, feeling really pleased to witness them enjoying the food thoroughly.

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2. Jalan-jalan ziarah kawan

(Another version of this could be read at Faizly's blog)

On Sunday, 23 December 2007, together with Faizly, we went to Gyoda, Saitama on Kak Ita's invitation. Spent most of the 1-hour ride on Takasaki line being glared in between flipping pages of her novel by one obachan sitting opposite us. Then, not long after we arrived in Gyoda, one hit-and-run incident happened involving the Nissan Serena we were in.

It was sunny in Gyoda as opposed to rainy and chilly morning in Tokyo. At first we thought of visiting the Emperor at the Imperial Palace (23 December is the current Emperor's birthday, one of the two days the Imperial Palace inner ground is opened to the public, apart from January 2, for New Year Greetings) but changed our mind upon reading the weather forecast. We ended up watching the Emperor and Empress greeting the visitors flocking the palace on the television in Kak Ita's living room.

Hubby had a great time mikan gari (mandarin oranges picking) under the sun, while I tried to ensure that Huzaifah was not leaving any permanent damage in Kak Ita's house, or should I say Kak Ita's hubby's rumah warisan. Kak Ita prepared lots of food, since she was also expecting other guests. We were served with mouth-watering mee rebus, rice with telur masak rempah and acar rampai, puding roti bakar, dango and freshly picked mikan.

Kak Ita's dad used to stay and teach in Mak's hometown, Pontian. She called him up while I was there, asked me to talk to Tuan Haji myself and what do you know - he knows my Mak, and Mak's elder sisters - all of them used to be in the teaching profession too. Small world, eh?

We left after Asar, after a brief introduction to Yan and Walid who had just arrived then. Kogure-san, Kak Ita's husband agreed to drive us to the eki, but not without having to make a U-turn first because I'd forgotten Humaidi's bottle. Oopss...

Next destination - Ageo, to Kak Pah's house. Fetched by Lutfy on his Honda Fit (Jazz in Malaysia), we were taken to Kak Pah's impeccably clean and organized home. Really enjoyed Kak Pah's, her son and her husband, Mura-san's (aka Abang Din) hospitality. Okay, maybe not just hospitality - but also the laksa, kuih seri muka, Kedah-styled asam pedas keladi (aka asam rebus by those from southern part of Malaysia). Even Humaidi enjoyed the beef soup tremendously. Huzaifah tried to "help reorganize" stuff at Kak Pah's kitchen, all of his efforts smartly thwarted by the well-experienced Kak Pah.

We joined Lutfy and Shahreeza leaving Kak Pah's home after Maghrib. Instead from Ageo, we returned to Tokyo from Omiya, where Lutfy dropped the rest, driving back alone to Higashi Omiya. We bid farewell to Shahreeza who took Saikyo sen to go back to Toda, while we took Takasaki line to Ueno.

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3. Christmas visitor

Koseki-san, the detective who is almost a frequent guest of ours now, came by on Christmas to drop two Disney-themed 'christmas stockings' filled with snacks and cookies for Huzaifah and Humaidi. We already told him earlier that we do not celebrate Christmas, but he insisted on bringing a cake for us. Turned out he was late in ordering a cake, and he couldn't buy any suitable cake by the counter on Christmas Eve, so he ended up buying the snacks and cookies instead. I told him that he shouldn't have, but he said it's his pleasure. Nothing religious - it's just that Christmas cake has became part of Japanese culture in the past 30 years or so.

Christmas is not a national holiday here in Japan - but yes, it is definitely celebrated here, simply because as Koseki-san put it "we Nihonjin like to party and Christmas is a good excuse to party"

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4. Kodomo no Kuni

This deserves an entry on its own. Initial verdict - a great place for kids, definitely a Kids' Kingdom!

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5. Unexpected visitor

AMIR held sort of winter gathering in this Mosque, from 29 - 31 December. (The girls even stayed back for an extra night - cool way to usher in the new year, if you ask me.) Then on 31 December morning one Nihonjin guy suddenly entered my house without knocking first (which was really rude) which caused me to shout "don't come in, wait outside!" in half-surprise half-irritated tone.

After I was properly attired, I went and asked what was it that he wants, and he said that he would like to ask some questions regarding Islam. Hubby was not feeling well, so I brought him to the mosque, asked him to wait for a while and went down to ask for some help from the AMIR program participants. Baim and Kuchai volunteered. Upon entering the mosque floor, I saw the Nihonjin smoking, so I asked Baim to advice him that the mosque is a 'no-smoking' zone.

I am not one who usually dislike someone on first meeting, but there was something about the guy that just didn't sit well with me right from the very beginning - the entering without knocking, then smoking in the mosque without asking for permission...

Turned out he was not really interested in finding out what Islam is all about. He was more interested in confirming his own belief. One of his first questions was "is it true that Muslims are allowed to kill Christians?". Followed by other questions/discussion on the creation of the universe, the "love" message in Islam, the differences between commandments in religions, et cetera.

Hubby reported that he was kind of arrogant, that he was not really sincere in asking questions, but more to put forward his own views, as he cut in while others were speaking and sometimes he just refused to listen to what others had to say.

There were a lot of twisted statements here and there, some self-contradictory points made by the Nihonjin. Baim and Kuchai were very gentle and careful in answering questions, as hubby assisted with getting evidence from the Quran. When the AMIR slot was over and more people joined the 'discussion', one guy named Halim could not control himself but provoked the Nihonjin, by referring to his own twisted statements, to which he had no real answer, but just showed the "peace" sign instead.

Hubby said if he had known Nihonggo, he would have done the same himself. It is one thing to treat a non-Muslim who wants to find out the truth about Islam from Muslims gently and politely; but here was someone who openly showed his arrogance (and ignorance about Islam) to Muslims in a nearly provocative manner in a place considered holy by Muslims. That was why Halim was rather perturbed and could not wait to be given a chance to 'tembak' the Nihonjin guy a little.

Definitely an interesting 'latihan amali' in discussing comparison of religions for the AMIR guys.

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Shinnen akemashite omedetou gozaimasu.
Yoi otoshi wo.

(Happy New Year and wish you a good year ahead)

Eidul Adha 1428H

- Unlike last year when there was no formal request, this time around hubby got a formal letter from the embassy requesting him to be the Imam for solat sunat Eidul Adha 1428H. that helped in persuading ICOJ’s President to give him a day off and let a substitute Imam lead the prayer in Asakusa Mosque instead.

- With the absence of the ‘big guy’ of this mosque, Brother Ehsan, (who has gone back to Pakistan until early 2008) hubby had to find a substitute imam on his own, and alhamdulillah the former Imam of this mosque, Brother Mushtaq Zaman agreed to help. We were worried about having nobody to make arrangement for food to be served after prayer, but Brother Mushtaq knows how things work here and is well-known by the policemen in this area (for his role as the former Imam), so that lessened our worry a great lot.

- Not unlike last year, we were fetched by the Embassy’s car, but the yound and charming Hasegawa-san was no longer behind the wheels. We were greeted instead by another older ojiisan chauffeur that morning. We were told that Hasegawa-san has changed profession to be a “barber technician”. My guess is he is now a hair stylist.

- The cheerful ojiisan asked some questions regarding Hari Raya Korban, and so I attempted explaining in rather poor Nihonggo (with the assistance of the English – Japanese dictionary in my keitai) the history of how Allah had asked Prophet Ibrahim to sacrifice his beloved son Prophet Ismail, and how Ismail had been substituted by a kibash as a sign that the sacrifice of both father and son had been accepted by Allah. The ojiisan finally snapped his finger and exclaimed “I got it! Today there is lamb prepared in the Embassy” (in Nihonggo), to which I smiled and nodded weakly, instead of further explanation on the timeline for ‘korban’.

- The ojiisan’s take on Islam was basically summarized by his statement; “The people at the (Malaysian) Embassy love their family. They want to spend time with their family. They go out to eat with their family, to shop with their family, to sightsee with their family. Japanese people, they love their job more than their family. That’s why in the past 30 years or so, more families are broken. They must learn from Islam. They must learn to love their family more”

- Hubby didn’t lose much sleep over editing the text for sermon, unlike last year when we even engaged Mak’s help to reword, rephrase and rearrange the long 20-pages long khutbah to become just 9 pages. We crossed out stuff that we think is not relevant with the audience in Japan (including stuff hubby does not really believe in) and added a few dose of our own stuff. Basically we added some stuff regarding the importance of being earnest and persevered in seeking knowledge, and in addition to Muslim renowned “tokoh ilmu”, we also mentioned names such as Nobel Prize Winners Muhammad Yunus (2006) and Mohamed ElBaradei (2005), and mentioned in passing how some Malaysians had bagged Diamond and Double Gold Awards at the British Invention Show 2007.

- Small attendance of the solat sunat raya congregation in the Embassy meant that there was a felt hush when the Imam delivered the sermon, unlike last year when I had trouble to hear what hubby was saying amidst all the ‘suara nyamuk’. Oh, and this time around, he did not forget to hold the ‘tongkat’ when he started his sermon (last year nobody passed it to him, so this year, he put it right next to the rostrum)

- We met up with neither Sofea Haruka who could not skip her class that Thursday, nor Faizly, who had a presentation scheduled. Like he said – “saya pulak yang kena ‘berkhutbah’ depan sensei pagi raya ni”

- The attendees of solat sunat raya that morning in the Embassy must had been a record low. My personal estimate put it at less than 200, where else the Embassy had been prepared to serve 400 guests. Unlike last year when they had to cook extra food while it was still being served, this year saw lots of food probably went to waste (even after asking many to tapau the food home)

- There was a combination of factors to explain the low attendance – since it was near the end of year and right before the winter break, lots of students either had to sit for exams or make presentation (if it’s just classes, some don’t really mind skipping them), and those who work are rather hesitant to ask for leaves since long leaves (year end/beginning of new year) are looming quite near in the future. Nevertheless, it was still a ‘sederhana tapi meriah’ celebration at the Embassy.

- Right after I finished queuing up for the lamb, I was called to join hubby being served in the TYT Ambassador’s house. I was rather flabbergasted, but accepted the invitation anyway. That was where we met up with other personal guests of the Ambassador’s – the Brunei Ambassador, and some Malaysians holding prestigious positions in Japan.

- Huzaifah, being the active child that he is, had a near brush with an accident when he went out of the Embassy building on his own. Ida’s husband saved him from crossing the main road and brought the protesting and wailing Ujai back into the main building. Ida herself was busy chasing her twin girls around – who are about Huzaifah’s age. The “terrible two’s” is apt to describe our kids. I was carrying Humaidi with me (using the baby carrier) at all time, so I thought hubby would help with minding Huzaifah more. Only that, hubby could sometimes be too ‘relaxed’ in minding his son, having being exposed to see how ‘carefree’ kids could be in Egypt… Anyway, Ida and Herman, thanks again for your help that day. Alhamdulillah tak jadi apa-apa yang tak elok…

- Instead of heading straight back home after leaving the Embassy, we went to Tuan Syed Nahar’s place in Aoyama, not far from Omotesando. We were driven there by the Embassy car, where we thanked and bid the ojiisan chauffeur goodbye. Tuan Syed Nahar happens to work in the IAEA Regional Office in Tokyo, and was understandably happy to hear his boss’s name (Mohamed El-Baradei is the DG of IAEA) mentioned in hubby’s sermon. He invited us over for makan-makan raya at his place and hubby quickly accepted his offer.

- The apartment in Aoyama is far, far more impressive than the Embassy Staff residence in Kamimeguro, not to mention a far cry from typical Japanese apartments which are often sekangkang ayam in size. I started to worry immediately upon entering their home since I did not bring any toy for Huzaifah to play with. After a futile search for suitable toys, my eldest boy was finally entertained by a container of colorful beads of room deodorant, but despite careful maneuvering and monitoring, still managed to break one of the host’s colorful glass egg. Adusy!

- We returned home after Asar, after being served with nasi Arab and ketupat daun palas, brought all the way from Malaysia by Tuan Syed’s eldest daughter, Nadiah, who had just arrived in Narita that morning to spend an 8-days break with her parents.

- I did not cook any raya food, and hubby’s quick call just before we left the Embassy gave me no time to tapau any food from the Embassy, thus, we ended up having ‘the extra special Maggi Mee Ayam’ that night. What is so special about instant noodles, eh? Ask Kak Lela – her writing sort of inspired me to actualize the fantasy of having ‘special’ dish of instant noodle on Raya… Heh.

PTK oh PTK...

It rained all morning last Thursday. I prayed hard as I balanced between cycling on the slippery surface and keeping the 1000yen folding umbrella (a gift from Syafiq before he returned to Malaysia for good) steady against the rain, that it would be hujan rahmat, that a lot of rezeki would tumble down with the rain. I was after all, on the way to sit for my PTK exam (Competency Level Evaluation).

I slept in the train instead of concentrating on my notes. Kompetensi Umum, the paper I sat for on Wednesday was not so bad, if you asked me, since it was a matter of reusing and recycling similar points here and there. Kompetensi Khusus is another thing altogether – demanding quite serious studying and revising on various stuff. Still, managed to have last minute discussion with Marha right before the exam began, on topics which one of us covered but not the other.

Out of the five questions that I needed to answer in the allocated 2 1/2 hours time, I was comfortable with one, half comfortable with 2, and simply wrote whatever that came to my mind in the other 2. (7 seems to my lucky number this time around - in both Kompetensi Umum and Kompetensi Khusus paper, my first attempt, being the question I felt most comfortable with, was number 7) What I definitely am not comfortable with is feeling unsure of how my ability of answering these academic questions prove my competency as a government officer. When all was over and done, I pondered on how (in) effective PTK could be in measuring one’s competency level and wondered why more emphasis seems to be given on PTK over seniority in the service for promotion purposes.

Like a friend was sharing with me the other day, say officer A and B sit for PTK exams at different time, A in 2004 and B in 2005. A managed to pass her PTK with Tahap 4, but B had to repeat sitting for the exam. Had B taken the exam at the same time with A, she might had qualified for Tahap 4 too for she could match or write even better answers than A. Does repeating sitting for the exam necessarily makes her a less competent officer than A?

Then, there’s the age and seniority in the office factor. As one grows older, it’s understandable that it will be more difficult to memorize stuff. Some of the questions which ask for 10 examples of this, or 5 reasons for that – requires memorization of certain Code for the Public Service or Government Order, might be deemed to give unfair advantage to younger and fresher brains. Like another friend was telling me the other day, her colleague who is more senior in terms of age and service had to retake the exam three times, but she herself alhamdulillah passed the exam on one sitting. That doesn’t necessarily made the more senior colleague any less competent than her in the office. It was more a matter of ability to “goreng” stuff to make it look good on paper, coupled with some “rezeki” factor that the subject matters one read and spot questions came out.

PTK is supposed to help officers become more competent by knowing and learning all the necessary knowledge and tools – but for all we know, in some cases, there might had been one or two who felt de-motivated and de-moralized by not only having to re-seat the exam, but ending up at the same rank with colleagues far, far junior (like 6-7 years of working experience differences)

Then again, people could always write excellent essays without actually practicing what was written. I am quite sure some could get full marks on questions regarding integrity but are not totally ‘clean’ in their conducts – and I am no exception. I sometimes used government-issued stationery for personal stuff too. (But right now I still memorized all the main qualities of Tonggak 12, so there)

Someone was saying that it’s not the exam itself that makes many feel unhappy with PTK system – it’s just that overlooking the years of services and putting greater emphasis on passing the PTK as merit for promotion that became a cause of concern.

Personally, after experiencing it myself, I would say that PTK provides an opportunity not only to sharpen one’s knowledge in government-service related matters, but also as an exercise to refine and brush up one’s skills in “goreng-menggoreng” stuff on paper. With the presence of all these “pakar goreng”, no wonder we in the government have to study and review so many thick, lengthy, wordy papers and documents.

Oh well.
I pray that I will pass the exam anyway.

Simple things that make one smile in winter

Simple things during this time of the year that could make one smile, in no particular order

… first mug of hot Milo with perfect margarine-and-kaya sandwich
… soft light of dawn, with little noise at the street
… good morning hug from a 2-year-old
… a massage on the back while still wearing telekung right after a solat jemaah
… freshly vacuumed and uncluttered house in the early morning
… winter socks
… comfy futon on a hot carpet
… both kids clinging and hugging the mommy under the futon
… a hot mug of teh tarik on a cold starless night (Boh makes better teh tarik than Brisk, but still..)
… falling yellow, red and brown leaves
… sunny, cheery weekends
… Christmas cards with traditional Japanese arts cover (kabuki, sumo, Hokusai etc)
… reading a book by favorite author undisturbed on the train
… promise of a nengajo from Japanese friends (including the police detective who often visits us)

Halal formula milk in Japan - revised

Sufi from Chiba had asked me to share some info she got by calling up manufacturers of infant formula in Japan

According to her, the only two infant formula which contains no traces of animal substances would be Meiji's Elemental Formula and Meiji's Mirufi-HP. Her latest finding confirmed that there is no infant formula for newborn babies in Japan with no traces of animal substances used during the production process.

According to this blog referred by Aida-Kyushu, there is no halal formula for 0-9 month old baby readily available in Japan, including Mirufi HP, as it contains taurine, and according to the author of that blog, taurine is derived from ox bile, hence the name taurine (from Latin taurus). The author though lists Tsuyoiko (Bean Stalk), Chirumiru (Morinaga) and Gun Gun (Wakodo) - all of them formula for babies aged 9 months onwards, to be halal for consumption.

Somebody left a comment in my previous entry, claiming that only Bean Stalk formula is halal - and coincidentally, from my personal observation, Bean Stalk products, Sukoyaka (0-9 month) and Tsuyoiko (9 month plus) seem to be the choice brand for many Japanese muslim mama.

There is no confusion regarding Meiji's Hohoemi (0-9 month) and Steppu (9 month plus) though, since pork related substance was listed as part of the ingredients, making them both clearly haram.

While no other brand lists pork-related substance as part of the ingredients, Sufi found out that in Morinaga's products (Hagukumi, Chirumiru, E-Akachan) case, while soy-based emulsifier and lecithin are used as part of the ingredients, pork-based enzyme is used in protein hydrolysis.

She also claimed that similarly, pork-related substances may form part of the process in infant formula production by Wakodo, Bean Stalk and Yukijirushi.

So, what is halal and what is haram then?

I am not an expert on fiqh matters, neither is hubby, so when Aida-Kyushu first told us about the above-mentioned blog, we quickly referred to another Ustaz who is more well-versed in fiqh and qaedatul fiqh matters.

That was when we learned of istihlak and istihalah.

Istihlak (assimilation) happens when a prohibited substance is diluted in a lawful medium to the extent that none of the known properties, be it color, taste or smell, of the prohibited substance are noticeable in the lawful medium, then the prohibited substance can be ignored. For example, most bread contains yeast, which produces alcohol during anaerobic respiration, but the amount the alcohol is so small, and further decreased during baking, that no amount of ingested bread could cause intoxication, then the bread is halal.

Istihalah (substantial transformation) is changing the nature of the defiled (najis) or prohibited substance to produce a different substance in name, properties and characteristics. This includes transformation through chemical reaction, burning, cooking, etc. Thus, when a najis or prohibited substance have been completely transformed that it no longer carries the properties and characters of the original substance, then the ruling of haram does not apply to the new substance because it is something different.

There are other fatwa which ruled differently regarding pork-related substances, saying that pork should be exclusively treated in that its substances never really changes under what ever conditions.

Since this is khilaf, I guess it is up to individuals to choose which fatwa to follow, while respecting others who choose differently. The concern with what is halal and what is haram is a good thing - it shows that we Muslims are not willing to sacrifice Islamic principles easily. However, to prohibit or label a certain product haram should not be done without sophisticated knowledge of fiqh and qaedatul fiqh. Those in Muslim countries are lucky to have organizations that could identify halal products with all the necessary knowledge and know-hows, but excessive prohibition on products in non-Muslim countries where no such halal-identifying agents are available, might cause undue hardship and frustration. (Imagine if no halal infant formula is available for Japanese muslim mamas who are unable to breastfeed for long. They don't really have the option of 'importing from home' like us gaijin muslim. )

Try googling istihalah and istihlak, and one will discover in no time that these principles are adopted by the Islamic Organization for Medical Sciences, based in Kuwait. I do not seek to marginalize the issues of halal and haram, but just to highlight some Islamic principles used in determining halal and haram which might be unknown and unfamiliar to others.

Since there is no Jakij here in Japan (as there is Jakim in Malaysia), personally, I am going to apply the istihalah principle in choosing the infant formula for my kids. I will not however take responsibility for others who choose to do the same - instead I would urge others to do their own homework and seek opinions from more learned scholars before making up their mind regarding this, because one should not have doubts regarding her/his choice.

So, there, my two yen on this matter.
I should be concentrating on my PTK notes (many thanks to Marha and Syah), the exam is going to be held this coming Wednesday and Thursday, but I had trouble concentrating this dawn, hence this entry. Please pray for me (to do okay in the PTK exam), ya?

The one-of-a-kind kenduri

So my brother's wedding reception went okay. Mak was hugely relieved when all was over and done with. Of course, any memorable kenduri would not be without drama - the caterers were not around to serve the food about an hour before the kenduri began, last minute cancellation of the kompang and bunga manggar procession, my youngest brother Adik was not sure how to fit the `tuan rumah’role that he had to undertake since Ayah and all the uncles were not around, having to attend to Tok's janazah. Oh, not to mention the ‘almost’ change of the wedding outfits – my brother almost agreed to wear something which clashed awfully with the theme color of the main table and the hall’s decoration, but the tailor managed to make some really last minute alterations on the originally agreed outfits.

Not all the audience were in the know about the demise of Tok, so some were really taken by surprise by the quiet procession of the bride and groom into the hall. Mak said they compromised by allowing the sound effect manager to raise the volume of instrumental music a little higher. And since they went to all the trouble of getting the 3 tiers wedding cake, they went on with the cake cutting ceremony too. Guests were served with a slice each, which still left quite a large portion of the biggest cake intact, and it was re-packed in the box, to be taken home. But alas – at the end of the night, the cake was nowhere to be found. Mak herself had not tasted it yet. Still Mak said – “alhamdulillah kek je yang hilang, bukan hadiah kahwin ke, duit ke, apa ke….” (Which reminded me of the Tommy Girl EDT that went missing from the bilik pengantin during my own wedding – hisy, takdak kerja lain ka jadi pencuri masa kenduri???)

Ayah and about 50-60 family members and relatives arrived from Putrajaya, after Tok’s funeral was over when some guests were already saying good bye to Mak. For a change, Abang signed an MoU with a Japanese company that night, after the 'acara wajib' of the kenduri ended. Something different than a normal kenduri – with business dimension added to a familial occasion. Which was okay too, since that event provided some extra time for Ayah and the late comers (some coming all the way from Kedah) to enjoy the food after attending Tok’s funeral.

Like Mak said – all’s well, ends well.
Alhamdulillah

San nen me no kinenbi

It was our 3rd wedding anniversary yesterday.
(Hubby could remember the big date easily since his birthday is on 12.03 and we were married on 03.12. Lucky me, alhamdulillah!)

We went to Nikko last weekend for sort of anniversary celebration in advance, since we had already made all the necessary preparation - guest house booking, basic itinerary, food buying, etc. More on that later.

Initially I'd wanted to blog about the moments just before I was pronounced a legally wedded wife three years ago. But with Tok's death - it seemed rather insignificant. After all, we had only been married for three years where as Tok married Tok Ayah when she was 14 and he 22, and they remained faithful to each other until their last breath - she at 76 and he at 69.

But given another perspective - that my own parents were divorced (for the first time - they were divorced three times) even before their marriage reached 2 years old, remaining married for three years seems like an accomplishment of sort.

Well, which ever it is, I am happy to be with the man I married, proud to be the mother of our children, and hope that we will keep loving each other.

Loving as in the verb - not just the feeling. Stephen Covey once wrote "Love is a verb. Love - the feeling - is a fruit of the verb." What constitutes this verb of love then? To serve, sacrifice, listen to, emphatize, appreciate, affirm. Among others.

Rasulullah s.a.w. used to keep himself busy serving his family, and would get up for solat only when it was time to do so. He used to mend his own clothes, and do other household chores. And he claimed that the best among the Believers are those who are best towards their wives and daughters. (Sometimes, all these are conveniently 'forgotten' to be highlighted in ceramah on the rights and duties of husbands and wives in Islam.)

But of course, it is not all one way. After all, Rasulullah had also stated that the best wife is one who is attractive in her husband's eyes, who carries out his wishes, and remains vigilant in his absence. Husbands and wives are garments for each other - to offer protection, comfort, modesty and warmth. To complement and supplement each other.

Marriage is a tool for two interdependent people to achieve greater things in life. 1 plus 1 after all, does not necessary equals 2. In the past three years, in our case, 1 plus 1 has already equalled 4!

Happy 3rd anniversary, sayang.
May we keep loving each other for many years to come, insya Allah!

On the night of our akad nikah

On the eve of our third anniversary

Please pray for her...

My paternal grandma, Tok, passed away yesterday evening at the age of 76.
Innalillahi wainna ilaihi rajiuun. From Allah we came and to Him we return...

The janazah ceremony was attended to by my uncles and aunts. Ayah, as the eldest (also the eldest son) in the family, headed the ghusl. There was some delay in getting kain kapan from the nearby surau (or masjid) since it happened in Putrajaya and given the relatively 'young' population of Putrajaya, I guess they were not always prepared for such occasion (unlike in Kampung Tunku, which is highly populated by retired government servants) .

Tok had been bed-ridden since early this year, after her third (or was it fourth?) attack of stroke. When I last met her last year, she could still recognize me, although she was a bit confused about me being married with a child. She suffered from Alzheimer's disease, so it wasn't really surprising that she'd always mistaken Huzaifah as her child rather than her great-grandchild - a topic quite often argued back in the days when Mak was looking both after her and my son while I was away.

Tok, the woman who raised me up until I was nine, had passed away, and I was unable to kiss her good bye for the last time. Not that I am not redha - just a bit 'terkilan', that's all. 15 years after my Tok Ayah passed away, now I hope Tok will be able to join him. When Tok Ayah passed away, there were some elderly gentlemen who was interested in her, but Tok was adamant in not marrying anybody else because she wanted to be with Tok Ayah again.

It was not that easy taking care of someone with Alzheimer's, especially when Tok was also suffering from diabetes, but I guess the rotation system among her sons worked quite well, until just before she was bed-ridden and stayed with my Ayah Jang in Putrajaya, where it was possible to install both her special bed and a helper/nurse to care for her 24/7.

As it happened, last night was also the wedding reception for my newly wedded brother (kenduri sambut menantu). Must had been one of the most sombre wedding receptions ever - no kompang, no music, no cake cutting ceremony; with the doa' being a 2-in-1 doa - for both Tok and the new pengantin. Ayah was not able to attend the reception since he had to attend to Tok's janazah, but the kenduri had to go on because it was held in a hall, without ample time to notify expected guests of the changes in circumstances. (Had it been held at our home, things might be a bit different, we might had a majlis tahlil or something...)

I hope all of you will join me in my doa that my Tok will be placed among mukminin & solihin , that all her sins would be forgiven, that all her good deeds would be counted as ibadah and that she would be blessed by Allah in the eternity.

Al-fatihah

Unseen connection

It was both humbling and flattering to be told by someone that my blog had enlightened her as though I could read just what she had in mind at any particular time. This had happened not once or twice, but numerous times, that she found it to be quite amazing. To be honest, I was pretty amazed by her story too…

“For example, when I was thinking about finding formula for infant – you came out with an entry on it. Then, when I was busy finding out the documents needed for baby registration at the embassy, you came out with the necessary list. Just the other day, some Indonesian friends were telling me about nyuin joosan, the special subsidy for childbirth in Japan, and then you wrote about it too. And these were not the only times it happened – there were other instances as well. That’s why I make it a habit to check your blog daily, and several times too!”

It was not surprising that when we met in person, we hit it off well, chatting for hours as if we have known each other for ages instead of just meeting for the first time. Maybe there had been an unseen connection between us all along, after all.

To Aida-kyushu – it was a great pleasure meeting you. Glad that I have been of help, but I believe I also have a great deal to learn from you too. May this silaturrahim between us be blessed always…

Bad Muslim?

Whenever we went out with a bunch of non-Muslim friends, they would ask us;

"Why is it that A.Z. cannot eat this, but you do?", or

"Why is it that A.Z. cannot drink wine, can't even help us passing the glasses around, but you can drink?"

He would smile sheepishly and answered, "because A.Z. is a good muslim, and I am a bad muslim".

True, he has no qualms eating non-halal meat so long as it is not pork. He doesn't drink beer, but told me that he could handle his wine well. He prays when he feels like it. He is fully aware that these are all considered sins, but for him, it is a private matter between him and Allah.

On the other hand, he sort of portrays good image of Muslim to others. He is one of the best students in the faculty, getting mostly A+ in whatever subjects he took up. He is highly regarded by most sensei. He gets along well with many - not only he could speak English, Nihonggo and Bahasa well, but also is on the way of mastering Mandarin. And he is not 'kedekut ilmu', willing to share his knowledge with those who ask for his assistance.

He is a good husband and a great father - in that he shares household chores and childcare duties almost equally, if not more (since he only goes to school three days a week, while his wife works four days a week). He is a concerned friend too, as he would take care to ensure that Muslim friends and guests are only served halal meat whenever they visit him even though he normally eats non-halal meat bought in the local supa.

He labels himself a "bad muslim".

How I wish he is not...

Selamat Pengantin Baru

Selamat Pengantin Baru to my beloved brother, Abang and my new sister-in-law Sarah.

Alhamdulillah, they were pronounced legally wedded husband and wife at 4.22 pm on the 24^th of November 2007 in Masjid Sungai Batu, Serdang, Kedah.

In the words of Mark Twain,

“A marriage… makes of two fractional lives a whole;
it gives to two purposeless lives a work,
and doubles the strength of each to perform it;
it gives to two questioning natures a reason for living,
and something to live for;
it will give a new gladness to the sunshine,
a new fragrance to the flowers,
a new beauty to the earth,
and a new mystery to life.”

More importantly, I hope in the years to come, my brother (and all other husbands) will not forget that Rasulullah had once said:

"The most perfect of the believers in faith is the best of them in moral excellence, and the best of you are the kindest to their wives."

My doa is that the two of you will find long lasting love and happiness in, and with, each other.

“All praise is due to Allah; we plead Him for help, and we ask for His protection, and we seek refuge in Him from the mischief of our souls; whomsoever Allah guides, there is none who can lead him astray and whomsoever Allah finds in error, there is none to guide him; and I bear witness that there is no god but Allah and that Muhammad is His servant and His Messenger. 'O you who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah, by Whom you demand one of another your rights, and to the ties of relationship; surely Allah watches over you. 'O you who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah with the care which is due to him, and do not die unless you are Muslim.' 'O you who believe! Be careful of your duty to Allah and speak the right word; He would put for you your deeds into a right state and forgive you your faults; and whoever obeys Allah and His Messenger, he indeed achieves a mighty success”

- excerpt of a nikah sermon as according to a hadith

Chinzan-so

(This entry is especially for Lina - hope you'll get to enjoy this garden someday)

Perhaps one of the best methods to escape the hustle and bustle of Tokyo would be strolling through a traditional Japanese landscaped garden and Chinzan-so is a splendid garden to break away from Tokyo’s urban jungle.

I discovered it rather by accident. One afternoon last semester, the soon-to-graduate sempais in my zemi-group spontaneously decided to spend the last zemi session for tea instead of academic discussion. I reached our normal meeting room just in time to stumble onto other late-comers, so together the four of us tried to find our way to Chinzan-so, based on instruction given by one sempai over keitai.

After several hiccups, it took us more than the supposedly 10 minutes walk to finally reached Foresta Café in Chinzan-so. The tranquility of the garden really took me by surprise. It was so incredibly gorgeous - and merely 10 minutes away from Waseda University! Although it was summer, by just seeing the line of sakura trees aIong the Edo river on the way to the garden, I could already conjure up a perfect spot for hanami next spring insya Allah. I made up my mind there and then to re-visit the garden with my camera ready.

Thus one day last summer holiday, hubby and I bought a Toei one day pass each (700 yen for unlimited use of Toei 4 subway lines, Toei buses and streetcars) and played tourist in Tokyo. We went to several popular touristy attractions that day, but we first headed to the charming Chinzan-so.

I later learned that Four Seasons Hotel Chinzan-so is one of the most popular wedding venues in Tokyo – it was said that it could held as much as 14 weddings in a day. Considering Japanese obsession with punctuality and efficiency, it might not be a big deal, especially so since Four Seasons Hotel must be filled with all the respective professionals. Thus, those who want to experience some tranquility there might avoid going there on the weekend since it would be bustling with brides’ and grooms’ families and friends. On the other hand, some photography enthusiasts might welcome the opportunity of capturing shots of kimono-clad women in a traditional Japanese garden.

Anyway, hubby and I prefer the former - to just sit and enjoy the sight, smell and sound of the crickets, the trees and several water features. There was a mini waterfall, a water rock pond with giant stones shaped in turtles and dolphins, and another part filled with a watermill. The garden is full of history – 500 year old tree, three-storey Pagoda, an Inari shrine (with statues of foxes rather than dogs or lions on each side of the shrine’s entrance), various historical relics and artifacts moved from other places – all with carefully laid quaint-looking signs in both Nihonggo and English.

Oh, by the by, there were Shichi Fukujin (seven gods of fortune?) idols located in various sections of the garden, with descriptions of their supposed ‘specialty’ in Nihonggo and English, complete with small collection container. (Naughty me spied the various containers and it seemed like there were mostly 5 or 10 yen pieces. And there were a lot of 5 and 10 yen coins thrown in a small refresh spot at the hilltop, next to the 3-storey Pagoda too)

There are several eating outlets overlooking the garden – with prices ranging from 900 yen lunch at Mucha-an soba house (which closes at 3.30 p.m.) to 18,900 yen kaiseki dinner at Kinsui restaurant. Dynamic Tokyo Tour by Hato Bus in fact includes Japanese BBQ lunch at Mokushundo in Chinzan-so, and it’s possible to request for vegetarian BBQ too. Hubby and I did not give any of the eating outlet a try that day, but personally, based on my one-time experience, the cakes at Foresta Café are not too bad.

Anyway, we went there mainly for the garden and I must say that the serene garden was really a nice change from the ‘usual’ lively Tokyo – calmer, slower and cooler with fresher air.

Volunteers needed for public reading room in Kuala Krai

I am supporting this blogger's idea from afar.

Anybody up for this?

Virtually emptying his account...

Mohammad, 38, runs an Asian grocery store in Tsunashima, Yokohama. The Sri Lankan had 520,000 yen in savings, and was thinking of donating 300,000 yen towards the purchase of the mosque. He changed his mind and donated 500,000 yen, virtually emptying his account.

He says: "When you make a contribution to a mosque, God prepares a house for you in heaven. It's thanks to God that I've been able to make my way in Japan up to now. And God will continue to help me in future."

Full story here

Masya Allah...

Takaosan

It's not like we had not been warned - articles found online had already stated that Takaosan is a big hit with Tokyo no hitobito during the last two weekends in November. Nevertheless since this is insya Allah our last autumn in Japan, we try to make the most of it by trying to enjoy koyo (autumn leaves) in somewhere new to us. Or at least, to me (since hubby had already explored Takaosan once in April on his own, not long after I gave birth to Humaidi)

It was really crowded - took about 40 minutes to queue up for the cable car to ascend the mountain. Especially so since it was Momiji Matsuri - we were told that it took one hour to go there from Hachioji, which normally takes only 15-20 minutes. We met up with some friends for this outing- Basharan and Zau at Shinjuku and Hadyan in Takaosanguchi eki. Hubby knew that I had missed hiking a lot, and Zau too likes hiking, so the girls climbed up the mountain by foot while the guys took care of the kids and took the cable car. Hubby and I switched places afterwards, as he and Hadyan descended the mountain on foot, leaving Basharan, Zau and I to take care of the kids on our way down by cable car.

There were 6 trails going up Takaosan; Zau and I chose trail no. 1, the easiest trail. It had been long since I last hiked, thus I decided not to risk taking up a more challenging trail. However the easiest trail might as well be labeled the dullest trail. I've seen hubby's photos when he climbed the mountain in April, with some spectacular view - waterfall, dusky planks, rusty Shinto shrines - but he didn't know which trail it was. He said he just joined some people he saw going up the trail, so there.



However, what trail no. 1 lacks in terms of closeness with "alam ciptaan Allah", it sort of made up with opportunities for watching/observing people.

Zau and I sang praises for healthy and strong obaasan and ojiisan in their platinum years climbing with not much problem. I guess it is almost impossible to view a group of platinum-haired atok or nenek in Malaysia to climb up a mountain out of choice rather than necessity.

Then, there were a lot of children accompanying their parents climbing, yet another rare sight in Malaysia. Zau thought it is maybe due to lots of pantang that we seldom get to see young children taking up mountain climbing or jungle trekking. Hmm, maybe. But I thought maybe more parents should try taking their school age children hiking in 'controlled' forests like the one in FRIM, Kepong, just to introduce the wonders of alam ciptaan Allah. Too many kids had been spoiled by PS, Wii, the internet, etc that I think it might do some good for them to be re-introduced to 'basic' stuff such as enjoying jungle trekking.

Anyway, we saw a 3-year old girl (I asked her age when they passed by) complaining about her hurting feet halfway up, and her dad persistently encouraged her, "come on, you have eaten a lot this morning, surely you can do this, right?", seconded by her slightly older brother with words such as "okay, I'll walk with you, step by step. There, good job, good job". The mother though simply said "gambarou" and with that left the rest of the family behind. I was stunned.

Then, there was a pair of young Indian couple pushing their baby's stroller all the way up too. The mother asked the father to stop from time to time for a quick rest or a sip of water.

We even passed by a procession of Shinto followers coming downhill from two different shrines, all walking in rather rigid fashion, in almost straight formation. Very disciplined indeed.

And there were plenty of teenage/early twenties girls donning outfits more suitable for an outing in Harajuku or Shibuya than jungle trekking - leather boots, high-heels, mini skirt, fluffy woolly jacket and all - leisurely strolling all the way up. Yup, trail no.1 is THAT unadventurous.



I prayed Zohor not far from the cable car eki at the mountain. I would have loved to continue climbing until the summit, but since Basharan and Zau had promised to meet up with their friend that evening, Zau and I cancelled our plan. We promised hubby and Hadyan to meet at Takaosanguchi eki around 4.00 o'clock, so Basharan, Zau and I killed some time before we took the descending cable car. Huzaifah enjoyed playing with the coin operated kiddie rides even when I did not insert any coin. Basharan reported that earlier on Huzaifah had already joined some Nihonjin kids whose parents paid for the ride. I was appalled - but Basharan said that Huzaifah simply refused to leave one of the 'buses', so the Nihonjin parents just let him be a free rider. Besides, it's not like their own kid really cared about having freeloader - they just want to have fun on the musical, wheelie-wheelie ride and if someone else joined them, then so be it.

We prayed Asar in one "three-benched park" near Takaosanguchi eki. I usually pray in quieter places, and even when I prayed in a park before, I normally do it with hubby. This time around, we took turn praying alone, so it was the first time I witnessed perplexed look on Nihonjin who passed by us performing solat. Some even stopped for a while to observe the movement in solat. I asked Zau if the same thing happened when I was praying, and Zau confirmed it - perhaps, due to the relatively small numbers of Muslim in Japan, many of the Nihonjin passer by might have witnessed a Muslim performing solat "live" for the first time in their life.

Well, all in all, it was a good trip, alhamdulillah - although Basharan and Zau had to leave me alone with the kids since they were already late and there was no sight of hubby or Hadyan. In fact, in the end, hubby and I left even before meeting Hadyan, since it was already 5.00 p.m. and we were supposed to be back at Asakusa Mosque for a nikah by 7.00 p.m. (the nikah was postponed though, so we ended up having dinner outside, yatta!) I wish we could have seen more koyo - but was pretty satisfied with what was available. I guess we went there a bit early - or is it because autumn arrives later in Tokyo than elsewhere?

Next koyo/momiji watching trip is due in a fortnight, insya Allah. Nikko, here we come!

Sorry ye...

My dearest Abang,

Sorry for losing your precious long lens for your new Canon EOS Kiss Digital X. And your glasses. I don't know what came over me last Sunday, as I simply didn't realize when exactly we lost the blue-&-black sports sling bag containing your lens kit case. Might be in the Yamanote train we boarded from Nippori to Shinjuku; or the bag might had slipped down while we descended the stairs in JR Shinjuku eki; or someone might had stolen it while I was buying the train tickets for Takaosanguchi at Keio Shinjuku eki (although the latter does seem a bit unlikely).

We already tried asking Lost and Found office in both Keio and JR Shinjuku eki, but to no avail. Either bukan rezeki, or we lost it in turn for something better.

Whatever it is - I am sorry ye sayang.
Really, really sorry.
Truly, deeply sorry.
Gomen ne.
Nanti kita beli lain ye.
Our anniversary dah tak lama lagi...

Subsidy for childbirth costs in Japan

It is common knowledge that families taking National Health Insurance (kokumin hoken) can apply for and receive a subsidy to partially offset the costs of childbirth. Since October 2006, the subsidy is 350,000 yen in Tokyo, but in trying to encourage higher birth rate, some cities like Osaka offers even higher subsidy for the third child onwards. Given that the costs of childbirth range from 380,000 to 550,000 at ‘normal’ hospitals, the subsidy of 350,000 is greatly appreciated by many.

Still, often Malaysian post-graduate students know little of the existence of another bigger subsidy for childbirth apart from the above-mentioned one. For JPA students who could get reimbursements from JPA for childbirth, it might mean little, but for Mambusho and other self-funded students, this other subsidy means a lot. We learned about the existence of this subsidy from undergraduate students – as well as tips on how to get reduction to pay kokumin hoken, etc.

So, let me share the procedure on how to get this particular subsidy. However, this subsidy is only applicable to full-time students/ wives of full-time students, whose head of household is here under College Student visa, and do not have a source of income here in Japan – scholarship is not considered as source of income for this purpose. Both husband/wife must be registered under kokumin hoken to be eligible for this subsidy.

First, the wife must get her boshi techo (mother and child healthbook). This can be done by getting a “ninshin shoumeisho” from the doctor who confirmed the pregnancy, and exchanged for a boshi techo at the city/ward health center. The boshi techo is usually given with various supplement pamphlets, including two tickets for “free” check-up; one to be used in the first half of pregnancy, the other in the second half. Women over 35 years will also receive a free ticket for scanning the baby once.

Once this is done, consult the Child Welfare (not the Health Insurance) desk on how to get a subsidy for childbirth by student/spouse of student. This varies from city to city, but in my particular ward, the real application could only be submitted after 35 weeks of pregnancy. What we did first however was to confirm if we were eligible for the scheme (we were), to get advice on which Hospital to go which will accept payment using this scheme, as well as advice on documents we need to submit for the real application.

Normally, people using this scheme will be advised to go to government-owned hospitals. However, in my case, since there is no government hospital in the vicinity (Taito-ku or Sumida-ku) which provides maternity services, I was advised to go to San Iku Kai Byoin, a private hospital which collaborates with my ward office regarding this scheme. It is advisable to go for check-ups at the designated hospital earlier on, because changing hospitals at the last minute could be quite a hassle.

On the 35^th week of pregnancy, go back to the Child Welfare desk for actual application of the scheme. Normally one would be asked to bring:

• Daigaku shomeisho (student certification from the university), huband/wife;
  
• Gaijin torokusho (Alien card), for both husband and wife;
• Boshi techo;
• Hokensho (medical insurance card), for both husband and wife;
• Hikazeisho (proof of no income. Could be obtained from the Tax section of city/ward office by showing proof that you are a student under scholarship), for both husband and wife, or in my case, just the head of household;
• Passport, for both husband and wife.

There will be a simple interview, and then you will be asked to wait for a certificate of some sort which will be sent by post. This certificate, stating that the childbirth costs would be paid by the ward office, must be submitted to the hospital when you go there for childbirth. Having this certificate means that you only have to pay very minimal charges at the hospital.

In my case, I was asked for a deposit of 35,000 yen, and then 20,000 yen was returned upon discharge from the hospital whereas the actual cost for childbirth at San Iku Kai was about 400,000 yen. I was later asked to pay 35,000 yen at the Child Welfare division at the ward office – meaning I only have to pay 50,000 yen instead of paying 400,000 yen

On top of that, I was still eligible to collect the 350,000 yen subsidy mentioned in the first paragraph. All the Health Insurance division wanted apart from my hokensho before giving me a fat "congratulatory" envelope, was proof that I had already given birth as documented in my boshi techo. (In fact, once a friend whose wife gave birth in Malaysia, was also eligible to collect this subsidy. But that happened in Gyotoku, where the officers in charge are often less kibishi than in other city/ward offices)

In short:

Without special subsidy:

• Hospital charges: 400,000 yen
• (offset by) Normal subsidy: 350,000 yen
• Total spending: 50,000 yen

With special subsidy (only applicable at appointed hospitals by respective ward/city office)

• Hospital charges + payment to ward office: 50,000 yen
  (the bulk of hospital charges was paid by ward/city office)
• (topped by) Normal subsidy: 350,000 yen
  
• Total earning: 300,000 yen
  

"Bumblebees" at Tokyo Motor Show 2007

We went to Tokyo Motor Show 2007 on the last day it was held, 11 November 2007.
While others were obviously more interested in snapping pictures of the latest and most eco-friendly (the 'in' theme right now) models, I went photo-hunting for possible "Bumblebees" (since Bumblebee is yellow, surely it supports Bersih too, not?).

Here are some of the photos - there were more - Ford Mustang, Dodge Demon, but due to the presence of a'la 'Idol' (sexy girls) model next to the former, and hubby's lame effort with the latter, they could not be shown here. Yes, just like expected, the Tokyo Motor Show could had easily been mistaken for Tokyo 'Idol' Show, making me wish that more companies could follow Audi's foot step of using male models - and even their female model was seen smartly attired in business suits - looking slick, chic, successful, but not overtly sexy. Really cool.

Hubby had a grand day snapping pictures on his brand new Canon EOS Digital Kiss, Huzaifah had a pening day, trying to grab and look for his parents all the time, Humaidi slept peacefully in his stroller for most of the time we were in Makuhari Messe, and I was really tired from all the walking that I hit the futon right after Isyak and left the kids under their father's care for the rest of the night.

Many thanks to Zafran for ferrying us to and fro Makuhari Messe. Thanks to Shima for putting up with hubby's request to go to Tokyo Motor Show despite just returning all the way from Malaysia, with Aiman by her side, and carrying another baby in her tummy. Thanks too for the KFC. Honestly I am not a big KFC fan, but I guess partly because it's unedible here that made the cold KFC pieces extra delicious (hence why I managed eating 3 pieces in one sitting... ). Terima kasih!

Orang memberi, kita merasa...

We received a surprise last Thursday - a package from Malaysia, and one weighing almost 11kg.

I was shocked - but grateful nonetheless, since the arrival was quite timely. We were running out of stock on some dried goods (Maggi Mee and chilli sauce among others), so it was really a pleasure to discover these among the 'small treasures' we received.

The kind sender visited us a few weeks ago. We were advised by Ali-san, a friend of our friend Telat, that a Malaysian called Syahri or Sya'ari from PERKIM, would be visiting one Thursday noon, so I prepared some lunch. Hubby and I had no idea that our guest would turn out to be a leader of Regional Islamic Dakwah Council of the South East Asia and Pacific (RISEAP), an NGO based in Malaysia.

Lt-Col (R) Shahrir Hashim, was clearly happy to learn that there is a Malaysian imam in Tokyo. "Kalau tahu ada orang kita kat sini, baik saya tidur sini saja, bukan di Otsuka," he claimed after chatting with us for a while. He came accompanied by Ali-san from Japan Muslim Association (JMA), which has ties with RISEAP, thus acts as Colonel's host during his stay in Japan. Several JMA representatives had accompanied Colonel visiting several mosques and Islamic centers throughout Japan, and he was scheduled to go to Sendai the following day. Brother Abdullah, an ICOJ member who had been to Colonel's house in KL a few years back, came to see him at the mosque too. As it was already noon, Brother Abdullah invited everybody for lunch at Siddique restaurant, but I told him that I already prepared lunch for Colonel and that he and Ali-san are invited too.

Actually, I only prepared the lunch with one extra person in mind. Although there was enough chicken curry and vegetable soup for 4 adults, I didn't cook that much rice. I quickly fried some ikan masin and keropok while the men chatted, and cooked additional pots of rice, on high temperature mode (so that it get cooked faster). Mak said in time of doubt, selawat more and insya Allah whatever we had would be enough - and miraculously, that was exactly what happened. Somehow, the available rice was enough to feed all 4 men, and the newly cooked rice was not touched at all (but I felt secured having extra rice, of course).

The lunch was no big deal. Hubby and I are only too happy to share a main meal, be it lunch or dinner, every time we receive a guest from Malaysia.

Apparently, what we deem as 'no big deal' was interpreted differently by the kind Colonel. In his reply to our email thanking him for his generosity, Colonel boldly declared that after visiting over 17 countries in the world, he found that often Malays living overseas are arrogant and egoistic. He claimed that only hubby and I had offered him Malay cooking although he did not ask for it since he understand that everything is expensive in Tokyo.

I chuckled upon reading "Harga petai di Malaysia hanya RM5.00 untok 4 papan. Mungkin kos nya kalau Ustaz jual kapada orang Melayu di Tokyo RM500.00!!" I love petai - for sambal ikan bilis - so no hope of making easy profit from 'em. In fact, I was childishly happy to discover all the treasures that he thoughtfully included in the package - Milo, Kicap Cap Kipas Udang, lemongrass, cili api, kaffir lime leaves, turmeric leaves, instant nasi himpit, assorted ikan masin, ikan bilis, udang kering, belacan, dried chillies, assorted spices and instant sauces, kek lapis, agar-agar strips, and even a copy of The Star. Yes, we do read online news, but there's something natsukashii (nostalgic?) about reading good old newspaper...

He thanked us for our hospitality, claimed that he "tidak pandai simpan budi lama-lama", and promised to bring his wife along for the next trip before we return to Malaysia.

We look forward to receiving you again Colonel.
Terima kasih atas kiriman yang amat kami hargai!

Post open house...

By now, most who read this blog would know that I am a huge believer in "hikmah" behind everything. Those who have read my entry on our Open House, would know about the ‘incident’ involving a group of girls. Surprisingly, some of the readers responded with various emotions – anger, sympathy and so on. Truth is, I was not angry at them, more worried in fact, as to their future dealing with the community at large…

Well, last Friday saw me receiving two visitors. They came to apologize on behalf of their juniors. They came with explanations –

• that the seminar was organized by some juniors and the girl who said that they might help after the seminar was over at noon was present in the capacity of a “speaker”, not organizer;
• that they were both ignorant of the fact that I asked for their help (albeit half jokingly) on the phone; and later (quite seriously) when I was passing by near their congregation;
  
• that (perhaps influenced by Japanese well-know diligence,) they were so absorbed in their own program, trying their best to make the most of their limited time with juniors from far away, that it just didn’t occur to them to check if I needed any help despite knowing well that I was holding my open house the next day;
  
• that they were sorry some of their juniors who attended the open house did not greeted me properly before eating.

One of the girls confessed she felt so guilty that when she went to school on Monday, nothing seemed right and nothing went right. Friends at the lab were alarmed to see she, who is usually jovial, looking pretty much miserable. When asked what the problem was, she confessed that it is a ‘relationship’ problem, and she was quickly told to try fix whatever it was that bothered her because it is so unlike her to be down in the dumps. That was why she decided to see me at the end of her school week, accompanied by another fellow ‘senior’ friend.

I am glad that something good came out of the incident – that some of the girls were at least ‘awaken’ by the fact that they would never be in the safe ‘cocoon’ of their own limited company for the rest of their life. They said that part of the reasons they ‘terlepas pandang’ to check whether we needed any help that night was because they lack experiences in socializing with more ‘adult’ society. It somehow did not occur to them that with my two small kids and all, that I would most appreciate their help, even for a short while. Somehow they thought that I must had had all the help I needed, since I did not specifically ask them for their help.

What happened that night really opened their eyes – that there is a more ‘complex’ life outside their small usual ‘group’; that half of the religion – the hablumminannas part – could be actualized in simply helping out in the kitchen; that their doings or un-doings could speak louder about them than their words or beliefs.

Open house is not an end in itself. It is a means to an end. There is more to it than merely providing an avenue to eat and chat. Open house is a tool for silaturrahim, for ukhuwwah. It is a place to get to know others, to meet different people, to broaden one’s horizon as we listen, learn, exchange thoughts and opinions – and all these could be done not merely while eating, but also while dicing nasi himpit, stirring soup, pouring gravy into bowls, cleaning up used plates, even while holding up a baby for a tired mommy…

So, there was a "hikmah" behind the incident after all – at least some girls learned their lessons about socializing with more ‘adult’ community here in Japan, while they are still students, before they get exposed to a larger society back home in Malaysia. Like I said, they are good girls, with good religious background – so I really hope that their doings would not, in any way, cause ‘fitnah’ to others like them. “It is a lesson I would never forget,” one of the girls solemnly vowed.

Ah, but of course, since a true Mukmin is not bitten by a snake twice from the same hole...

It's basic human rights...

to be given the "four freedoms" - freedom of speech, of religion, from want, and from fear... Democracy is often believed to inculcate these elements of freedoms. Yet, election as a tool of democracy, could easily be thwarted, as described by one Human Rights textbook author,

"...countries may go through the notion of organizing elections, but they also possess many ways to ensure that these elections will be neither free nor fair. They can use public resources - funds, patronage, media attention - to outspend and divide their opponents. They can foment ethnic conflict to ensure chaos (or turn to popularations against moderates). They can adopt constitutions that serve the status quo, stack electoral commissions with cronies, allow very little time for opposition parties to organize, administratively harass opponents, threaten sympathizers with the suspension of clientelist benefits, and the like."

(reference: "Human Rights in International Relations", David P. Forsythe, 2006, Cambridge University Press)

Another author, Peter Uvin, stressed that,

"When people are deprived of their freedom, live in constant fear, cannot move as they wish... development has emphatically not taken place... there is no way to separate human rights from economic and social improvement; the terms mean nothing without each other and can only be meaningful if they are redefined in an integrated manner... the process by which development aims are achieved is as important as the actual products."

This is not a political blog - but I, like many others elsewhere, would pray for the safety of 100,000 fellow Malaysians who would join a peaceful rally calling for reforms in the Malaysian election system...

Here's praying hard that it will be peaceful...

Update (12 November 2007)

The rakyat had spoken...
International coverage could be read here, here, here and here; plus video here

According to friends and acquaintances, the "yellow wave" that flooded KL on 10 November 2007 was almost like a free advertisement for the telco DiGi (which incidentally uses tag lines such as "Masa Untuk Berubah" and "Kami Semakin Kuat" in their ads...)

One friend could not help chuckling when he overheard a non-Malay rally participant asking a Malay police on duty, "Saya rakyat Malaysia, setia pada Raja dan Negara. You orang setia pada siapa?"

Daulat Tuanku

Update 16 November 2007

Post-rally forum video - part 1 and part 2

Open House Eidul Fitri 1428H

Date: Sunday, 4 November 2007

Time:
Official: 2.00 – 6.00 p.m.
Reality : 1.00 – 9.00 p.m.

Menu: Nasi tomato (tomato rice), Ayam masak merah (spicy tomato chicken), Kari dalca kambing (mutton dhal curry), Mee bandung, Nasi himpit (pressed rice), Kuah lodeh (mixed vegetables in coconut milk), Sambal kacang (peanut sauce), Pulut tanak (glutinous rice cooked with coconut milk), Serunding ayam (chicken spicy floss) , Mixed fruits pudding

Chef: the first 3 items – Faizly, the rest – yours truly... (with exception of the serunding ayam, which was bought from Giant, Kelana Jaya)

Invitees: A lot, from all over Kanto area, but we expected around 80 people to show up. Around 80 people showed up, alhamdulillah. Thank you to all who “memenuhi undangan”, and thank you for bringing menu sampingan – karipap, wajik, various sweets, beverages, cakes, fruits, etc. Special thanks to Brother Telat Pasha, for 4 dozens of 1 liter Apricot Nectar juice from Turkey, and Brother Ehsan for sending them to us.

Photographers:
Official: Lutfy
Unofficial: Che Lee

Thanks a million!

Helpers:
Before: Basharan, Hubby, and 2 musafir from India, Hassif and Ajeed, who insisted on helping. Masumi Emi came earlier too, helped vacuumed my house and took turn looking after the kids as I bathed the boys and changed them into their respective Raya clothes. Arigatou ne, Emi...

During: Kak Pah, Kak Ita, Kak Zah, Baim and co. who helped cleaning the used pots and pans, Apid who helped with refilling, plus so many others who helped looking after Huzaifah and Humaidi

After: Shah Reza, Shahreeza, Dean, Lutfy, Zaimi (the last visitor, from Yokohama)

Thank you, thank you, thank you – may Allah bless and reward you for all your contribution. Special thanks for all who ‘tapau’ed stuff back home, for without them, we might have to eat the left over for 7 days and 7 nights…

Preparation time:
Started working from around 7.00 p.m. Saturday. Chef Faizly did not sleep all night long on Saturday. Basharan napped in the train when he went to fetch his ‘kawan’ from Haneda Airport early Sunday morning. Hubby too, slept at around 6 a.m. on Sunday morning. Yours truly napped for about three hours, 6.00 – 9.00 a.m. on Sunday.

Side notes:

• Brother Ehsan promised to bring the large rice cooker on late Saturday night, but he fell asleep and did it on Sunday morning around 9.30 a.m.

• Nasco sent our order in 2 parcels, but we only received the cold one on Saturday morning. We called them to enquire about the other box – containing rice, ghee and dry stuff. They said that they had already sent it and it should be arriving anytime soon. What about the beef (which I bought in another shop because they ran out of beef at that time, but asked them to include the beef in the parcel they were supposed to courier to me)? Oh, the guy who was supposed to do it forgot all about it – so could they send it to us later? It would reach me first thing on Sunday, they assured me. But the parcel containing rice and everything did not show up by the time we reached home (from Ichikawa Ono, where we attended Green Heights open house/open block) at around 6.30 p.m. After numerous calls to and fro Nasco, a guy from the courier called us up, saying that they were sorry, there seemed to be a mix-up, but since it was impossible to send the parcel that night, could they do it first thing on Sunday morning? Chef Faizly was like “Haaaahhhh? Sempat ke???” Since there was nothing esle we could do about it, we said okay. They kept their promise too – as the courier guy arrived even before 9.00 a.m., with both the dry stuff and the forgotten beef.

• There were about 15 girls attending a seminar on the 2^nd floor from Saturday to Sunday. When one of the organizers asked for permission to use the place earlier, I half jokingly mentioned that maybe I could use their help with the cooking, but the girl replied “eh, bukan jemput open house ajak kitorang makan je ke?”. A senior girl was a little bit more diplomatic; said that they would be finishing the seminar by noon on Sunday and they would assist me after that before the open house started at 2.00 p.m. They knew I was busy because I needed to rummage through the small kitchen in the 2^nd floor while they went on with their seminar. At one point, when it seemed like they had reached the last portion of their program on Saturday night, I mentioned loudly “kalau korang dapat tolong, amatlah dihargai”. Somebody replied meekly, “tapi kitorang dah bukak tudung…”

Their seminar did not finish at noon on Sunday, but around 2.00 p.m. The girls came up to attend the open house, but sadly, some did not even greeted me earlier before started eating (tak kenal tuan rumah ke?). Upon learning that Faizly and I did not sleep all night long (Faizly napped for a while on the train on his way back to Saginuma to refresh himself since he forgot to bring a spare change of clothing), some of the senior girls among the organizer came to see me, and apologized, “Kalau tak kerana program ilmu, kami mesti tolong Kak Azra punyalah”

Truth is, even when they did not help me, we still managed to do everything on our own – but the real loss is theirs. While Rasulullah s.a.w taught us the importance of knowledge, he put more emphasis on adab (manners). Adab with neighbors, adab with those who need help (like the Jewish granny as sung by Dawud Wharnsby), adab with the host. The girls were on the 2^nd floor while we were busy cooking on the 4^th floor; that made us almost neighbors for the night. They knew I was cooking for many, and it would possibly be more afdhal if the girls had spent one hour of their time to help out a bit, then went on with their program. There were 15 of them – one hour of 15 assistants could have meant a lot of difference to us back then.

It was sad really, what with these girls having quite good religious background. Maybe my expectation was too high, but this ‘elitist’ attitude – it will do them no good in the long run. There will be more encounters with neighbors/acquaintances who might need their help in the future; which might require them taking some time off from their “seminar/program jamaah/etc”, and I wonder how they would react then…

Wallahualam…